I grew up in a home where women were respected and I don’t know any other way to treat the women in my life. They are my equals and deserve all they have because they have worked equally as hard. I love my mother and aunts and want them treated with respect. To that end I treat every women just as if they were family. I live by the golden rule, treat others as you would have them treat you.

My question for all men, the average Joes, why are the women in your life treated so poorly? Don’t they deserve your respect? The widespread use of derogatory terms and the assumption that your female partner is your property is truly offensive. The oft used excuse in western/christian culture “women submit to your husbands” is a poor and abhorrent excuse. It is a part of the internal incongruity of the bible and Christianity in general. Men use it to convince women to take a subordinate role and women use it to put down other women. This I cannot understand, maybe it’s because the bible isn’t as esteemed in my eyes.

Since the birth of my daughters I have become more keenly aware of the general disrespect and poor treatment of women in our culture. It is worse for women of African heritage. My daughters will enter a world where they are afforded less respect. Less respect even than that given to other women, just because of their African heritage. They will be paid less and considered less intelligent. They will be considered less beautiful and less desirable life partners. This combination of offenses is a combination of gender and race prejudice that I cannot overcome for them. I obsess about how I can be a better example for them so they know how a woman should be treated. I will continue to provide them the opportunity to gain the life skills to overcome these cruelties. I know they will succeed because they have to. But I have one request of you.
I ask you, mothers train your sons to respect all women. Men respect the women in your life so your sons will and your daughters will have an example.
We can make a difference.

4 thoughts on “MY QUESTION FOR ALL MEN.

  1. The Bible does not tell us to subjugate women underneath men. The verse you are referring to is Ephesians 5:22. “Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” People have a vested interested in disparaging the Bible for whatever reason. Case in point, they fail to mention the verse that comes right before. That is Eph 5:21 “Submit to one another (men AND women) out of reverence to Christ.” In the context of the entire new testament and the example of Jesus Himself, believe me the meaning of that verse was clear. People must put the needs of others ahead of themselves. It is the basis of all relationships, ESPECIALLY between husband and wife.

    The best explanation I have ever heard of how to interpret Eph 5:21 came from a Chinese couple I knew. They told me a story about heaven and hell. In hell everyone is seated around a giant banquet table full of food. They are in misery bc their chopsticks are longer than their arms and they cannot get the food into their mouths. In heaven, well, it’s the exact same situation only in heaven they are happy and satisfied bc in heaven they feed each other, never themselves.

    This is how marriages must be. Husbands must take care of their wives ahead of themselves and vice versa. It’s the only way a marriage can thrive, fostering real love and respect for one another. ALL marriages fail bc they feed themselves as of first importance.

    The meaning of these verses are VERY different from what you say they mean. I hope you can see that there is actually a very important and significant lesson in these words. And let’s not neglect the verse for husbands, “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” What do these words imply? Who has the greater obligation to submit to whom? I dare any man to practice this principal with their wife.

    • Thanks Alex. Points well taken and I know that part of scripture well. However, its daily use is to subjugate women. Most people don’t know the context, so like all things religious the text is used as a means to dominate. Unfortunately these are the facts. It would be a success of religion if religious people would promote appropriate understanding. Notwithstanding my point is that women continue to be treated poorly in this society and around the world. In western society women have it better, but still they aren’t treated as they deserve. I am hoping and praying for better for my daughters.

  2. Yeah I agree, Enzro. It’s not easy being a woman. I’ve always wanted a daughter, and wanting the best for her I’d imagine it isn’t easy being a dad to a girl either.

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